Updated: Jul 29, 2018
People look for different qualities in a Counsellor, and how they go about deciding if the person is a good fit for them differs as well. I thought I would take the opportunity to go a little deeper in sharing about myself, which will give you more insight into how I do the work I do. I will also speak to the intent of this blog and what you can expect from it moving forward.
My family is very important to me, and those relationships are something I value deeply. Being closer to my family is what brought me back home to Campbell River. My family has changed over time, as have my individual relationships within it. Some of my greatest moments of learning have come from my family relationships, and these relationships have helped sustain me through many of life’s challenges. These relationships have taught me the importance of authenticity, honesty, and integrity, of being trustworthy, empathetic, reliable and accountable. At times I have also felt frustrated in these relationships, and I have worked on how I respond to the intensity. I’m also human so I’m not perfect, but I continue to work on these relationships to bring my best self forward. These qualities and experiences have helped shape me, and the person I am today.
I am someone who appreciates sharing in the vulnerable raw moments of people’s lives and bearing witness to a small piece of their story. Small talk has never been my thing. I suppose that is one of the parts of me that has brought me to this field of work. I want to know the things that make up the different aspects of who you are. What are your passions? What do you value? What challenges have you faced or are facing right now and how have you approached those challenges? What are your greatest strengths? What do you want to improve upon? What do you aspire to when you are living as your best self?
When it comes to working as a therapist, many people in the helping field believe that when it comes to personal development you can only take a client as far as you have gone yourself. As a believer in this philosophy, I am continually reflecting on my own journey and working to improve myself and my relationships. I do not ask people to do anything I myself have not done or would not do. At the end of the day, I value the effort you are putting in to working on yourself and your relationships, and I want you to get the most out of our time working together. At times things may come up that I feel another counsellor may be a better fit. This could be because someone else may have more expertise in a specific area, or that I myself have further to go on my own journey of personal development and think someone else may be better suited to help you meet your goals. Meeting your therapeutic needs in a way that best supports your growth is my priority.
I believe the relationships in our lives strongly influence who we become, and the things we value. Sometimes we learn this by having good role models and mentors, and sometimes we learn by seeing behaviours we do not want to reproduce. Relationships are a big piece of the therapeutic conversations I engage in. I want to learn about the family and community you have created. I want to hear about how you bring yourself to these relationships and respond when things can get intense.
We often seek counselling because we have noticed behaviours or responses that we want to change (or sometimes others have encouraged us to change). Although changing a behaviour, pattern, or response can be helpful, I have found it is often more complex than simply altering a behaviour if we want a lasting change. Often these outward actions have underlying causes, and if the root cause of the behaviour isn’t explored then the outward action may resurface, or new behaviours emerge. Once the root cause has been explored with a greater level of understanding the pattern can shift, and a new way of being can be established. And when making the shift is challenging and the old patterns emerge, we can practice self-compassion as we persevere to create a new way of being.
Moving forward with this blog I will share some of my own thoughts related to the work I do, and the areas of challenge the people I work with face. I may share articles, blogs, and social media posts of other therapists and helpers whose work informs my approach or is complementary to the way I work. My hope is that people who read the blog will gain a deeper understanding of who I am and how I work, by the thoughts, ideas, and approaches I choose to share. I thank you for taking the time to read this blog, and I hope it has given you some more insight as to what to expect by choosing Brushed by Cedar Counselling.
Here are some topics I plan on including in upcoming blog posts in no particular order:
· Family work
· Couples work
· Authenticity & vulnerability
· Holistic self-care
· Trauma and disconnection from the body
· Healing centered engagement
· Coping with anxiety
· Response-based approach
· Grief & loss
· Meditation practice
· The healing power of animals